Miscellaneous Musings | Sugar babies and Cyberpimps

So once again I've picked up a copy of  the Leeds Student paper for a quick news fix while having lunch and stumbled across an article about a pretty controversial topic: Sugar dating. No it has nothing to do with sweets or desserts but refers to a special kind of 'mutually beneficial relationship'. If you've heard of the term sugar daddy before, you'd probably have an idea but for those that don't..

Sugar daddy: A rich older man who lavishes gifts on a young woman in return for her company or sexual favors. taken from http://dictionary.reference.com

'Sugar dating' is not a relatively new thing, it's been around for a while actually - pushed to the back pages of magazines under 'Escort Services', for instance. However, the LS article centers on a new site SeekingArrangement.com that Leeds Uni students and other University students have been using. News media covering the topic points to the problem of student debt as a prime motive for students entering these kinds of relationships. Though something tells me that this isn't the full story. On the other hand, there are those that argue that this is just a form of disguised prostitution.

the man who calls him a 'leading
dating expert'. hmm..really?

Surprisingly, (well maybe not so much) the CEO of the site, Brandon Wade, is a geeky looking Chinese guy. From the business side of things, kudos to him for capitalizing on escort services by mixing in an element of social media but I do agree with popular opinion that he is essentially an 'e-pimp'. Apparently his philosophy behind his sites (yep, plural) is that according to him, men should be gentlemen and pay for items for women. While this may have been based from growing up with a mother who complained that his father didn’t buy her enough pretty things (truth), it's quite a common sentiment shared by a lot of people (especially coming from an Asian background) and frankly I think it's becoming a little outdated. I mean, paying for things is nice and all, but US$500 per date and US$10 000 monthly allowances (SeekingArrangement.com) is pushing it Just a little.

Well there are several ways to look at it. For one, the financial agreement side of it has led some deluded girl to claim that a sugar daddy arrangement is the 'most honest and transparent relationship' she's ever had (Maury Povich Show). Since the two parties have a clear idea of what the other wants, the grey areas of dating are said to be cancelled out. 

What I'm wondering now is whether or not gradual exposure and acceptance of such forms of dating will be a trend. Similar niche dating sites have been cropping up like Miss Travel, a 'travel dating' site where attractive people get to travel for free by similar sugar daddy type donors (another brainchild of by Mr.Wade, no surprises there). I mean god knows we'd all like to travel for free but these sites advocate a message thats blatantly twisted. I think Lindy West at Jezebel.com summarizes it quite well:

Attractive people. Why should they have to "pay for stuff" and "get jobs"? Haven't attractive people suffered enough, what with all the not-being-taken-seriously-as-scientists-in-movies and having-to-wear-fake-glasses-to-get-promotions? I'm getting choked up just thinking about it. 

And rich people! Why should rich people have to "develop social skills" or "think of their partners as human beings instead of just collections of measurements and 1990s birthdays"? Won't somebody please think of the rich people's socially awkward erections?!

#firstworldproblems

Sure, nothings to say that lonely people can't buy company and women deserve the right to make their own (possibly bad) choices, but there's definately a huge window for deception and problems.

You're not just on a date with this person—this rich, powerful stranger—you're on a boat, you're in a hotel room, you're in fucking Thailand or some ****. And you can say that the women are using/objectifying the men just as much as the men are using/objectifying the women—technically that's absolutely true, it's almost a win-win—but tell that to the girl who winds up 5,000 miles away from home with ExecutiveDong4U and realizes she doesn't want to put out.

 or you could just, you know, get a regular job.